yellow

kamu tau...
saya sudah mencoba sekeras mungkin melupakan kamu.
berusaha menghilangkan jejak hadirmu dari ingatan saya.
namun sepertinya, seluruh gerik kamu yang tertangkap semua indra saya tersimpan aman di alam bawah sadar saya.

cara berjalan kamu
kerlingan mata kamu
senyum kamu
bunyi suara bicara kamu
nada logat bahasa kamu
mimik muka kamu ketika mendengarkan lawan bicara kamu
mimik muka serius kamu ketika melihat apapun dilayar telpon genggam kamu
ekspresi kebanggaan kamu akan klub sepak bola favorit kamu

saya masih ingat semua itu

kamu tau...
kamu itu semacam ilusi buat saya
dibilang nyata, iya
dibilang imajinasi, tidak juga
kamu itu ada
hanya saja acuh, masa bodoh.

human right

ketika kita terlau menuntut hak kita dari orang lain sesuai dengan keinginan kita, yang ada malah semakin makan hati. jadi, semua kembali pada esensi atau nilai-nilai pancasila bahkan pelajaran PPKn sewaktu sekolah dasar.

jujur, tenggang rasa, rendah hati, dan IKHLAS...

that's the point

when the sun goes down

Dulu aku bertanya pada matahari tentang arti sinarnya. Mengapa sinarnya ada bermacam-macam. Kadang menghangatkan kadang menyakitkan. Ketika sinarnya menghangatkan kau tersenyum lebar merasakannya. Rasanya, matahari begitu bersahabat, sejuk, dan angin yang bertiup,  kau tahu, sangat familiar. Kau begitu ceria menikmati sinarnya yang baik hati itu. Kau melakukan hal-hal yang menyenangkan dengan sinar yang indah itu. Namun waktu terus berjalan tanpa mau tahu apa yang sedang kau kerjakan.   

Pagi menghilang beranjak dewasa menuju waktu siang. Dingin mulai hilang. Angin yang bertiup sepoi itu tidak terasa. Pagiku telah hilang. Digantikan siang yang sudah mulai menampakkan wajah judesnya. Siang itu angkuh. Acuh tak acuh. Semaunya sendiri. Tapi tahukah kau, dibalik sikapnya yang arogan itu, secara tak langsung dia juga berbaik hati mengeringkan jemuranmu yang kau cuci tadi pagi. Namun, jika kau perhatikan baik-baik, siang hari kadang memberikan sedikit senyuman diujung bibirnya, walaupun agak terpaksa. Jika kau rasa, siang yang panas yang sangat itu sudah mulai mencekik lehermu, dia akan memberikan sedikit mendung untukmu agar kau dapat bernafas lega. Tapi ingatkah kau jika siang itu hanya sementara? Jika panas yang kau maki-maki itu akan sirna? Dia akan digantikan oleh sore hari yang kusebut dengan yellow moment. 

Ketika kau melihat matahari yang sangat kau cintai itu mulai tenggelam perlahan, menyisihkan sinar-sinar memanjang. Seakan memberi lambaian selamat tinggal untukmu.  Malam hadir dan pagi akan kembali lagi.

Dewasaku..

Jika aku menuruti analogi sinar matahari, akankah aku kehilangan kesejukanku? Akankah aku kehilangan rasa dinginku dan membuat orang lain tersakiti merasakan aku? Apakah itu yang disebut dewasa?

1

So now I have to thankful with him, to make me believe that love can comes and gone. It brings any expectations which more there are hopes, not sadness. Now, I just stand and stare here, without figure anything out. Here, to watch my boy-who-i-like trying to get someone whom he loves until die. I don’t know how exactly happens with him and his personality life. I just wish that he could living with his truly love. I happy for you, dear.

 

All I want is a little room to stay. So I can sleep tight, dream of you and I, across the sea. Let me just dreaming about you for last time. I know, I’m running into circles, baby. A quiet desperation is building higher. I’ve got to remember, this is just a game.

 

Dear me, I’m deeply in tears. So hurry up end this heartache. Lit me from this painful dungeon, please? Put a chin up on your face and go away, which mean, I don’t mind.. and hey, she’s waiting for you! She’s longing for you! And I know for sure, you’re falling in love once again for a good time, at least for tonite.

what kinda of...

night will fall

you see

the city glows again

you see

the morning comes too soon

that's how the circles goes around

here and there

always a story from somewhere

always another line to say

no, i won't stay along this line

of broken pieces lying somewhere

hey

Hey, how’s life? Are you fine, friends? Long time no post. It happened cause I think I’ve trough so many problems without solve it perfectly. And then here I am, back to writing. And no different , I still write my story all over again.

This story is about a girl meets a boy. They’re like each other, I thought. But reality doesn’t say the same. I know, reality sometimes being something sucks, something uneasily. Yah, I know it in front.

Let me break it down for you. The girl on the previous paragraph is me, and the boy is, I won’t to spell his name but I give you a sign. He is my classmates. I don’t know how to explain how often me falling with my classmates. Honestly, when you’re falling with your classmates, is better than you’re falling with silly people. you will know more him closer when you placed in same class. Is that right? I think we agreed for that J

About three months a go, my best told me about a boy who is take presentation in front of class. For her, he is charming. Have a perfect body. Tall, gentle, and his face have a beautiful garnish, and the garnish is his pretty smile. At the same second, I look at his eyes, I don’t feel anything. I saw him as a boy with a weird accent. He comes from out of my island I mean yeah, you know not java indeed. I don’t even exciting with him. So, I don’t care with him.

But, something has changed! Yeah, that smells so classics. But I think love story doesn’t know expired time. At one night when he took presentation again, I saw something I don’t know what kind of something, but when I look at his eyes, I feel different. Like desire maybe, but for sure my heart is beating faster than before. At the presentation, I saw him as someone who’s really making me curious. His face so pale, and when we’re back to home, I barely ask him about his pale at parking lot before a took my motorcycle. I asked him “are you sick? Your face so pale?” and he answers “nope. I’m fine. Why?” I can’t answer him. So I’m not talking anymore and just smiling and passed away. And at the same time, I feel so stupid, asking something for no reasons. Silly me!

And time passed by, my feelings getting strong. I don’t know.

Holidays come. My feeling is still

Trough the holidays, I miss him.

After the holidays, we meet.

Nothing special things happened between me and him. But I realized that I have a special staring to him. My eyes meet his eyes, and then we smiling. It feels like all of my happiness showering on me. It’s the best feedback I ever had, hahaha. But the most important things for me is, I’m falling with him. And that’s so weird, I mean, for a month ago I just dislike with him but now, look ganis had fallen with him! I don’t catch that.

But everything had changed! He belongs to someone. I don’t know who the lucky girl it is, but I have to learned that, not of your expectation walking trough the reality like I talk to you in front, that reality is sometimes is sucks.

So now I have to thankful with him, to make me believe that love can comes and gone. It brings any expectations which more there are hopes, not sadness. Now, I just stand and stare here, without figure anything out. Here, to watch my boy-who-i-like trying to get someone whom he loves until die. I don’t know how exactly happens with him and his personality life. I just wish that he could living with his truly love. I happy for you, dear.

All I want is a little room to stay. So I can sleep tight, dream of you and I, across the sea. Let me just dreaming about you for last time. I know, I’m running into circles, baby. A quiet desperation is building higher. I’ve got to remember, this is just a game.

Dear me, I’m deeply in tears. So hurry up end this heartache. Lit me from this painful dungeon, please? Put a chin up on your face and go away, which mean, I don’t mind.. and hey, she’s waiting for you! She’s longing for you! And I know for sure, you’re falling in love once again for a good time, at least for tonite.

You Can Try These Things On

coming soon...

happy new year

happy new year people! its second of january but i still said HNY for all of you. is that fine? i think so :p
actually i feel regret now because i dont know, its just like i missed something but i dont know what.

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.

i miss you by Incubus

i loved that song. it reminds me with my past and future. past because i miss people who's around me last time. and future for someone who's always standing next to me, walks in the park, we'd talk for hours everyday and another things which makes my life happily forever after.

 i'll wait and i miss you